As we roll into the warm hearted, generosity filled month of December, I felt particularly inspired to share my thoughts on relationships, sans fluff. Here are some rules (thought provoking and possibly offensive as they may be) that I choose to live by:
1. Be cautious when posting about significant relationships on social media. Yes, I understand that social media is the present and the future, but I choose to kick it old school with traditional values.
2. Don’t compare yourself or your relationships to others. What’s the point? Someone will always be more successful, beautiful, or rich than us all.
3. Do not interrupt. … ever, if possible. It is in poor taste and what you have to say is not more important than others.
4. Be confident in who you are. Don’t say something just to appease the person you’re conversing with. Be who you are, and better yet, don’t make them feel bad about who they are.
5. If you ask for advice or let someone in, be prepared for brutal honesty. You asked, they answered. You brought it up, they contributed.
6. Work on the relationships you feel are worth working on. Simply try this test: Hangout with a pal, leave them and assess how you feel after. Are you happy and energized or exhausted and depressed? Deal with such ‘friends’ accordingly.
7. Support first. If a friend confides in you, first support them even if you think their plan is a terrible one. Offer suggestions in the form of constructive feedback.
8. Do not discuss others physical appearance. It is truly in bad taste and bodies are temporary.
9. If you want to know something, just ask. People love to talk about themselves but listening is a true gift and an acquired skill. Curious? Show an interest.
10. Do your very best not to judge. You don’t appreciate being judged and nor do others. Instead of going along with the phrase that everyone does it, be the change that you would like to see. Additionally, judging displays insecurities, and they are incredibly apparent.
Above all else, do not fear walking away from toxic relationships. Our time on this earth is short, and I know I would rather spend mine with 5 unforgettable souls than 50 forgettable ones. Thanks for teaching me all this, and much, much more mum.